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Wednesday, 8 June 2016

STILL LEARNING TO LIVE AND TO LOVE

blue sky white clouds nature

So here I am in this phase in life where I don't quite know where I stand. Regarding anything.
I love people. No, I LOVE PEOPLE ! Which is relatively new, thowback to my last post from January (god, it's been long... I don't even remember what blogging is anymore and how much I love it, still do). But apart from that loving and overcoming this f*ing devastating depressive episode that I had from the beginning of the year till May, when the sun finally came out to shine onto this city of decadance culture and lifestyle... Apart from that, I don't seem to have anything, like, at all. I'm at zero. I am a zero.
I used to comfort myself thinking that I was getting free from the past and letting go of all the crap that I had been holding on to for so long, for years telling myself and others the same old story of me - but I was just trying to distract myself from the real problem. And the real problem is that I am
So. Fed. Up. With. Being. Depressed.
And I need to take my life under control. Or it's fucked.
Not going into too much detail, the past six months have been an emotional roller-coster, yet the most beautiful time of my life. I have never been this happy, ever. Actually, in all seriousness, I don't think I ever was happy before. So here's this baggage of something I can't quite contemplate, however, I like to think that I'm still learning to live and to love. And as they say, as long as you continue to learn how to love, you shall be fine.
I shall probably redesign my blog and learn to love it again. Yeah, maybe I could start from there.

Sunday, 31 January 2016

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Christmas fairy lights cinematic shot
I can honestly declare that unconditional love has been a success of January 2016.
I have managed to not fall in love yet still feel it every day, for every person, more or less, not needing anything in return. Just giving the warmth and compassion that I have.
I put it on my to-do list for twenty sixteen. And I am forever grateful to the people who surround me, who have been there for me, who I can turn to in times of struggle - and this past month has been quite rough. Now the task is to keep my heart warm like that throughout the year and beyond.